Even if your friend is not mature enough to ever write those words, write them to yourself -- by hand. Social media makes friendship breakups all the more difficult. I've had a few friendships end in my time – some from natural drifting, some from dramatic fallouts. how to recover broken friendship? She said, "My father said that to me when I was 16. Like the couple that constantly breaks up and gets back together, I've had on-again-off-again friendships resulting in emotional drainage that could easily have been avoided. We'd chat all day online while we both worked, then as soon as we got home we'd cook together, marathon TV shows, have mates over. Even though I feel a strong sense of loss, I know there are lessons I can learn from this. Get your FREE weekly havingtime newsletter on how to reduce stress, boost your self-esteem, get things done and live a much fulfilling life! Write a letter to yourself. We kept up appearances for a while – because we had so many mutual friends, I invited her to my birthday and housewarming. Let yourself rant, cry, feel. A girlfriend I've known for 14 years has abruptly ended our friendship. Suddenly, I stopped feeling obliged to “be friends” with someone who just wasn’t right for me. Trust your intuition, your heart, and never apologize or feel guilty for it. Remove objects that trigger your pain. Wendy Keller is an author and speaker. It's easier to cut losses when there are no mutual friends, but when you're in the same circle, it can be tough. I wrote back and said (basically), "You don't have to point out your imperfections. Get ready for new friendships when your healing is already in full swing. I know it's already helping me. It's better (for some reason!) I reviewed every word of that email and several subsequent apologetic emails and nowhere did I use that phrase, nor even intend it. Living with one of my best friends was so much fun. Over a tumultuous year, though, our friendship deteriorated slowly, silently. To my astonishment, she instantly ended our long and dear friendship, claiming I told her to "shut up." We can let that person descend away slowly, spending less and less time together…. Use your friend's way of speaking, and if at any point he or she gave you an explanation for why they ended the friendship, write that, too. Somebody told me: Jokes on you, pal! Her work is dedicated to helping human beings handle the heartbreaks and sadness of life and emerge healthier and stronger. your positivity is long gone, and you might even feel less of yourself after communication with that “friend.”. Others don’t have to understand your choice to move on. Having been both the former friend and the one in the middle, I've learned the importance of not bad-mouthing too much. We went on adventures every weekend, cycling to the pub and passing out drunk in each other's beds at the end of the night. if you write it out longhand. When you and an ex-friend share common friends and interests, sometimes it's inevitable that you'll be at the same events. Once someone has announced they wish for no further contact, take them seriously. Whether it is an overwhelming feeling of being exhausted and emotionally drained after you spent some time together with someone, eventually the veil has to come down. Like day and night, apples and oranges, water and fire. It's like a broken piece of china -- it will never be "good as new.". It’s fine when it comes to setting your boundaries And it is okay to let go of a toxic friend. It doesn’t matter how hurt we might feel right now; it is wise to refrain from giving a piece of your mind to your friend or a family member that you wish to distance yourself from. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Do it again 6 and 12 months later. Treat people more gently. The sadness of a friendship ending can feel insurmountable, but there are many other wonderful relationships to nurture.