Iâve learned that when you put yourself first, that's when things really change for the better. Have you ever got that feeling of “I don’t like people anymore!”? They fly by you and don’t affect you at all. Sometimes, when we have that feeling of not liking people anymore, we still secretly know that it’s not a 100% true. It will never seem worth your while. Get socializing, and mingling with a few folks before you can find the really good ones. When you're a kid, you may expect people have your best interest at heart. If you're older than this, seek (and accept). If your miles from anywhere, how would you meet a friend or psychologist that would be suitable to you? This would be a fairly standard 'how do I make friends' question, except I know the reason I can't. And yes, I think your standards are too high. They also allow you to deal with the negative stuff: spot selfish, and destructive people, so you can avoid trusting them. I've gotten to the point in my life where making new friends isn't even on my list of priorities. Stop trusting it. I'm still an introverty loner, and mostly always have been, but the times in my life when I branched out and made the most friends were the times when I felt most confident. And if you want proof, imagine someone judging you just by what you post (or don’t post) online. All of those friendships I thought I couldn't live without fizzled out. I've come to the conclusion that the older you get, the harder it is to make friends because you start to realize youâre done with drama and donât have time for nonsense. The problem is that it can make you either more isolated and lonely, or prevent you from hanging out with the kind of friends you actually want in life. There is more to people than what they post online. 14. While you're doing that, try to be more interesting. I'm past the point of making a new best friend. I suggest that you have multiple casual friends. People never seem to want to tell you about the novel they're writing or their favorite band ever, but they will. In this article, I want to share with you how to avoid letting that feeling of “I don’t like people!” ruin your chances of having the social life you want. Instead of sticking to that conclusion, and avoiding any chance of being betrayed or hurt, there is another way: your social skills. All posts copyright their original authors. Most people are too caught up in their own reality (or virtual reality) to be able to appreciate the human being in front of them. This is not your fault. I never want to come on too strong, so I never let anyone know how much their friendship means to me and we eventually start drifting apart. And you need to make peace with it, and not take it too seriously! It was astonishing to see so many close friends walk away, but luckily, that made walking away myself much simpler. parties), and living miles from anywhere are part of it, but before I get to those problems I have this one: I don't like anybody. I'm super close with my family; my siblings and two of my cousins are my best friends. Most people get over this in their early-20s. Nobody to be there for me in bad times, nobody i can talk to when feeling lonely, or just to talk about a topic we're both interested in. This would be a fairly standard 'how do I make friends' question, except I know the reason I can't. If that means losing friends I had and not making any new ones, I'd rather spend my time alone than with someone who makes me feel alone. You might be classifying people as unlikable or "out of their depth" because they don't see what you have (wrongly) recognized: that you're not worthy of their attention. I also know whether someone is teasing just for fun, or that they’re trying to really ridicule me to look superior. We like to imagine that they have a 100% peace of mind, and that they like everyone. Sure not all of them are exactly what you’re looking for; but many of them could be of good company and good fun, and some of them will become your best friends. I don’t know how to interact with them. I rarely invite people out because I assume they'll just say no, I rarely ask for help because I feel like they'll see me as a burden. This could be moving to the big city as someone else suggested, or it could be taking up a positive and social new activity (like volunteering to teach), or it could even mean creating a new identity for yourself. The point is: when you have good social skills, the worst that can happen when socializing is that you’ll get a good laugh or have a good story to tell. I don’t even like people. 15, 2016. It was updated on Aug. 29, 2019. why the older you get, the more you hate everyone. But the right friends, the friends you really want to be hanging out with week-in and week-out,… they’re out there. Don’t wait until the exactly-what-you’re-looking-for friends show up. If you’ve been reading my stuff, you know that that’s rare and that you can avoid all feelings of rejection, by “asking without asking” others to meet you. When you're young, you may have wanted to be friends with everyone.