To make a long story short, don’t tell it. God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. Please give my best to Rajiv. Megachurches – I can’t be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. She went down to the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
The will of God will not take you to where the grace of God will not protect you. Yummy. Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns, We use cookies for analytics, advertising and to improve user experience. Now before you ask me which one was my fav. ANS: Low in the Gravy (Lay Jesus My Savior). Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set. A lot of church members who are singing “Standing on the Promises” are just sitting on the premises. I think you deserve more than cash.
Within the covers of the Bible are the answers for all the problems men face. Why settle for the lesser of two evils? Why wasn't Jesus born in the USA? A Christler. In order to make weather forecasters look good. { 4 comments… read them below or add one }. Working for God does not pay much, but His retirement plan is out of this world. .
One of my all time favourite email forwards are these 20 Spiritual one-liners that Nahida sent across. Fight truth decay – study the Bible daily. ~ C.S. An unpeaceful mind cannot operate normally. They can speak for themselves. Reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake. There are ten church members by inheritance for every one by conviction. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. (< ---That's my favourite no1.). You are not too bad to come in and you are not too good to stay out. ~ R.A. Toreyeval(ez_write_tag([[300,250],'whatchristianswanttoknow_com-leader-1','ezslot_7',120,'0','0'])); Though you have changed a thousand times, He has not changed once. There is no key to �happiness. Yes, God loves us all, but He favors "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!". Site Map | Why not try these one-liners at church?”> Quick, Funny Jokes! such significant remarks.I enjoyed reading.
12. Why did God create stock analysts? I count my blessings on a computer!" Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers? They are thought-provoking in addition to being funny!
A: Nun Q: What do you call a sleepwalking nun? Q: What do you call a Catholic service that is very, very important? Notify me of followup comments via e-mail, Previous post: 5 Thoughts To Comfort Us When We Fear The Future, Next post: 7 Good Bible Verses About Sorrow. Which one was your favourite? 5.
Which man in the Bible was the most flagrant lawbreaker? Besides for her duties as a nun, she was also very active in various hospitals visiting sick patients and taking care of all their needs.
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God lets everything happen for a reason. Inshallah, as work permits, will take you up on that after Ramadhan. If you worry, you �didn’t pray. A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible. Thank you Raj. The phrase that is guaranteed to wake up an audience: “And in conclusion.”. The apostles were all in one Accord. It’s me. Posted in CHRISTIAN QUOTES, ONE LINERS (CHRISTIAN), ONE-LINERS on April 18, 2008| Leave a Comment » We need to seek God Himself more than His gifts. It’s about halfway down. He rocked Goliath to a deep sleep. I�ve blogged earlier about Nahida and the selected email forwards she sends across, I�m not sure how many of you added yourself to Nahida�s mailing list, but I’m really glad I’m on it. When you pray, don't give God instructions. (Arif’s note: Uff, now that’s Deep!) ANS: Ruthless. ." All sorted from the best by our visitors. A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible. Arif. This is one line humor with a holy twist! QUOTES FROM A FEW OF OUR COUNTRIES FOUNDERS, PRESIDENTS AND OTHER WORLD LEADERS We the people are the rightful masters of both congress and the courts, not to overthrow the constitution, but to overthrow the men who pervert the constitution. Any chance you making one more trip to Bangalore? How I use an Intention Journal to inspire, motivate and even spiritualise myself again and again. Just be sure to flush when you are done.
* God says everyone has to worship him for all eternity. I wrote that on a public bathroom wall, found out, arrested, tried, convicted of criminal mischief & fined $500. God wants spiritual �fruit, not religious nuts.
A collection of short, funny jokes related to the Catholic Religion.
Dial Soap: Aren't you glad you've got Him?
Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position. ANS: Moses. . What is the Traditional Thanksgiving Hymn? General Electric: He brings good things to life. eval(ez_write_tag([[300,250],'whatchristianswanttoknow_com-banner-1','ezslot_6',118,'0','0'])); God teaches us to love by putting some unlovely people around us.
Definition of Atheism: a non-prophet organization. Christian One Liners . 1 Chronicles 16:11 Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually! See our new one liners or check one liner of the day. 4. ~ George Washington. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to the garage makes you a car. ~ Watchman Neeeval(ez_write_tag([[300,250],'whatchristianswanttoknow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_8',119,'0','0'])); Though our feelings come and go, God’s love for us does not. Infact, I�ve taken a printout of these and have placed them in my Tickler File. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays. Sometimes a one-liner says more than a paragraph. I count my blessings on a computer!" What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth? We do not remember �days but moments. But first how about that coffee at Koramangala. Such is the case in these Christian one line quotes that I have found. Remember, Moses started out as a basket case. He promised a safe landing. Dear Arif Bhai, Ps.-Thanks so much for the lunch invite. Thank you so very much. Faith is the ability to not �panic. The problem ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us. 16. Blessed are the �flexible, for they shall not be bent out �of �shape.
Laugh every day – it’s like inner jogging. 11. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks; you really think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a f**king cross? They're better than Baskin-Robbin's. A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes.
Scotch Tape: You can't see Him, but you know He's there. Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous. ."