Did you know that? You just have to—you know, teach me. We’re the two people who are different, and I’m going to keep the rest of them out—END OF EXCERPTCLICK FOR COMPLETE LOCKING THE STORE MONOLOGUE. Hey, are you crying? I know it, Claire. You're doing it so wrong wrong wrong wrong! But is their mom? About the monologue, Christmas Kale:It is Christmas morning and Sam speaks to his parents. However, as her mother begins acting like her newly arrived sister, and the chip becomes increasingly dominating, Amelia discovers her new life is nothing as she imagined.-This is a full-length dark comedy/absurd/thriller play with a running time of approximately 95-105 minutes, with 4 actors (3 female, 1 male). You know how--—END OF EXCERPTClick below to purchase the entire monologue: SINGLE CRUTCHGenre: DARK COMEDYGender: MALE (FEMALE)Setting: OUTSIDE A HOUSEAge range: 10-20 years oldDescription: Ben is a boy of about 14, who is in the marching band at school. It looks bad, but it’s, it’s, it’s—just listen, listen. I mean—END OF EXCERPTClick for pdf of complete free monologue, Iowa Is Gonna Be So Jealous. He has just been to the grocery store. Pick out a word or two in each sentence that you'd want to put the most emphasis on. I’ll stop! Usually, this guy goes strictly by the book. So when it’s done making these sounds, it stares at me with its transparent eyes, and it says, in this tiny voice—the voice a fawn might have, or a baby lamb. And some idiot with a Korean car almost runs me over! After that we bought another dog and named him Mugger. She deserves a nice Christmas too. He is reading a magazine, discussing the models in it. Well, you ruined that for me now, didn’t you? DESCRIPTION: Amber is in the kitchen of her and her parents’ home, speaking to her mother. Unless, of course, he is not meant to climb down.-This is a ten minute play for 2 actors (2 m or 1 m/1f), with a minimal set. I could run past that tree right now ‘cause I got a babysitter and she lets me go wherever I want. It’s a great way for men to stretch their everyday comedy skills and maybe make use of some props. (pause) Look, I’m sorry. I’d have to bend over a little, since it’s a kiddie crutch, but my mom said I have a strong back. Remembering last night. Half the time he swam backwards, remember? The window is open about 1 inch. I tried to run after him, but I’m not very fast on one crutch. CLICK BELOW FOR COMPLETE MONOLOGUE. Oh, I really don’t know anything about ants. But now—I can stop crying on my own, Patrick! (pause) Okay (pause) Okay, Sal. You will receive email notification with a link. (pause) What I don’t want to hear, examples of things that should just stay in your head, because, well, they’re not gonna help us have a nice night, um, some examples would be…talking about your husband’s triathlon. MARY'S EXPECTATIONS(from The Other Three Sisters)Genre: COMEDICCast: FEMALESetting: 18TH CENTURY HOMEAge range: 15-25 years oldDescription: Mary has finally agreed to marry the large, ugly, boring Mr. Watts. A DONUT DAYDREAMGenre: COMEDYCast FEMALESetting: LIBRARYAge Range: 15-18 years oldRunning time: approximately 2.5 minutes long (varies depending on performance)Description: Lulu is a girl of about 17 years old. Honest! Are you auditioning for a comedy? I don’t like oranges! A REALLY GOOD REASON By Tara MeddaughGenre: COMEDY/TEEN/DRAMACast: FEMALESetting: A coffee shopAge range: 16-40Running Time: Approximately 1.5-2 minutesDescription: Kelly, a woman around 20 years old, speaks to her “friend,” Rebecca, in a coffee shop. Submit your monologues and you might just find your work published on Ace Your Audition! Or ipad time? I like to feel the glaze melt on my tongue. I think I ate most of in, like, 5 bites. Here's a list of hilarious speeches for both men and women. Like I’m crack cocaine or heroin. I mean, do you think I’m like those babies who throw everything at people’s heads so you have to only give me soft things so if I throw them I’m not gonna hurt anyone? Yeah, it does. Really. I never considered myself afraid of heights before, but, it’s not really the climbing up that scares me. (smirks) You don’t believe me? I just…I stared out the window with my mother…but besides that….oh—I guess I used to look at the stars by myself sometimes. They make everyone laugh, build your confidence, and loosen up the auditors. Or isn’t today the day your mom lets you make your own ice cream sundae? On Lilah. Are you a burgeoning playwright looking for more exposure? Well, that wasn’t because she’s clumsy. And Junior Mints. What I Did Before Bingo, full version, 2.5 minutesA monologue from the full-length play, Free SpaceCast: Female (or male)Age range: teen-adultGenre: Dark Comedy/Drama/AbsurdRunning time: Approximately 2 ½ minutes. And…I don’t want you to become like me. Here's a list of hilarious speeches for both men and women. Yeah, I’m gonna start this up again! Not just mine. Cream puffs? That’s fine. Suddenly, the reality of two young friends on their own in the woods, does not seem as carefree as they once envisioned. Yet when Bingo arrives at her local community center, a talking Bingo chip convinces Amelia that forming her own game is the way out of this life and away from her controlling mother. ", ANDRES, a boy around 16 years old, talks to his ex-girlfriend, Claire. Really, just all bugs are gross. (pause) Now, I want you all to pick up your instruments and line up in—You! I knew a safari would be cool. I will never give out your email. When I was nine months old, my mom found me sitting on top of the brown cow in the barn one morning. Considering his wife has recently made him move out, and she kept both of their cars (she needs one for work and one for the kids), the CVS gift card next to the Econolodge was not so bad. MR. SWIMMIEGenre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'SCast: FEMALE/MALESetting: A HOMEAge range: 5-10 years oldDescription: Chloe tries to convince her mom she has matured since she let her pet fish die, and now she is ready to take care of a puppy.____________________, I know Mr. Swimmie died, but this is different. Is it worth losing tv time on a Friday? I know I’m late again, and you’re a, you’re a saint to wait an hour for me, but, listen, really, I didn’t know we were meeting at 6. Okay, you told me and now I know. Feel free to post your casting call on our Facebook page as well. Now you’re the one looking guilty, Dad. Although, I’ve always been a bit of a climber. She builds up her case of why he should buy a specific sweater for her.____________________JASMINE. You know just as well as I do that the mayor plays his favorites with our requests. It looked at me and didn’t even wave! (pause) You can go back, Little Bear. You can take the sprayers out, wait, just listen—you can take them out, because Alexa and I asked Siri about and people do this. You’re not like me. When Marshmallows Burn, a 10-minute dark comedy by Tara Meddaugh, Your Crucian Carps are Blocking the Doorway, Mom monologue, 12 Suspenseful Monologues by Tara Meddaugh. SANTA'S LOUSY JOBFrom the one-act comedy, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in BlitzenGenre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'SCast: FEMALESetting: A STOREAge range: 5-10 years oldDescription: LAUREN is in a store. It’s just…it’s a perfect sweater…So I would never have even thought of buying it, but...I think it wants me. Oh, wait. I should have asked you. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); New actors often ask how they can have more expression in their voices and avoid being monotone. This absurdist play has 12 roles (3 male, 3 female, and 6 male/female) and runs approximately 100 minutes. I weighed maybe 40, or whatever you’re supposed to weigh at that age. About the play, Jumping the Wind:Pollen K-10 and Pollen V-6 are the last two remaining pieces of pollen on a dying flower, and they now must make the treacherous jump from the dying flower to a fresh one. And it’s like—END OF EXCERPTClick for the entire free Tiramisu Vaping monologue. You’ll just move. While roasting marshmallows with his mom over a campfire, Sammy has grown fur and fangs, in the light of the full moon. Every tiny smile, every command obeyed, every sacrifice given. Cause I’m not the one standing by the closet with Skittles’ wrappers in my hands. I respect your privacy. (pause) My girlfriend’s sure been disappointed not having a real tree for Christmas the past few years. But—look, maybe I’m not meant to be scavenging a forest for berries, and yet—this is where I am. It’s nothing compared to you. SHEPHERD SUPERHEROESfrom the one-act comedy, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in BlitzenGenre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'SCast: MALE (female)Setting: A churchAge range: 5-14 years oldDescription: SAM, a boy, 5-12 years old, is playing the part of a shepherd in a Christmas Pageant. You know how unattractive that is? today=new Date();year0=today.getFullYear();document.write(year0);. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s really because…(pause) As I’ve grown up, I think I just kind of realize what’s important in life. Wouldn’t that be really cute? For the 1-minute version of this monologue, click here. The boys know each other fairly well and have played with each other in school and at each other’s houses, but they are not necessarily good friends.____________________KEVIN. I ate them. Print it out and take lots of notes! Well, in space the faster you go, the farther you go to the future. Anibel expresses joy that her newly planted daffodils actually came up for the first year, but also expresses concern that they will die in the Spring snowstorm. Like! MALE COMEDY or FEMALE COMEDY. The setting is minimal (an office). Please link to the scripts on the website. So I don’t know if I should believe you. (pause) Now, I won’t criticize her looks, because I don’t body bash and am so pro-unity. How about…uh…what’s it worth? It’s not really that bad. Do you know how bored those poor babies are who only have stuffed animals?—END OF EXCERPTCLICK FOR THE FREE COMPLETE SANTA'S LOUSY JOB MONOLOGUE.This monologue is free to download above, but if you would like to support the playwright and her craft, you may do so below: SECRET SANTAA 5-minute monologue playGenre: COMEDY/DRAMACast: MALE (FEMALE)Setting: AN OFFER:Age range: 20-50sRunning time: Approximately 5 minutesDescription: Dan has failed the Secret Santa “be creative” exchange and left his coworker, Penny, terribly disappointed. He’s at a mall.____________________, I really don’t think it’s too much to ask. That’s why I’m a little jumpy. I mean—I’d understand. (pause) This is the best trip ever!! And that’s a good thing. approximately 25 minutes, for 2 actors (1 female, 1 male), teen or young adult. I’m a gross chewed up Tylenol, and you don’t deserve that. You see? All— END OF EXCERPT Click below to purchase the entire monologue: GROWING UP ON THE WRONG SIDE OF BINGOA monologue from the full-length play, Free SpaceCast: Female (or male)Age range: teen-adultGenre: Dark Comedy/Drama/AbsurdRunning time: Approximately 1 ½ to 2 minutesSetting: A front lawn outside a house, nighttime. Or send us a message on our Google+ page. You don’t wanna see? Everyone on Halstead knows my garden is the most plentiful. But Lilah has it. Click below for the complete monologue of "Baby Ants in a Pie"-. I didn’t know it was my soul at first, but when it started talking to me, when it started telling me how I was scared of being hit by invisible cars, how I was only happy listening to Simon and Garfunkle…well, it sounded so much like me. Alicia has complimented Michelle’s nails and shoes, but for some reason, Michelle isn’t buying it. He wonders if she only loved him when he was a human child. Or drunk or something.